" stay strong. "

" smile. "

smiling even when you're broken is just an example of how strong you are as a person.

it might hurt at first but as time passes, the wound heals. smile and let the losers that hurt you see it. it kills them to see you smiling even though they've hurt you before. 

trust me, you're stronger than you'll ever think you are.

" can you laugh at the same joke again and again? no? then why are you crying over the same guy again and again? "

why cry over the guy that hurt you countless number of times? does he even give a flying fuck about you? no, isn't it? never shed tears for him. he don't worth your time/tears/love. yes, he broke your heart but what can you do about it? why not think of it this way; 

every time a guy breaks your heart, you're one step closer to your happily ever after and meeting your prince charming that'll know how to treat you right. love isn't a destination but a journey. a journey that has lots of obstacles but well, it may be stormy now but it can't rain forever. 

it's gonna hurt eventually but it will be worth it.

every mistake made by you teaches you a lesson. learn it and never fall for a jerk like him again.

stay strong, princess.

xoxo

I just don't feel good.

have you ever feel so fucked up that you don't even know how to describe it?

" just somehow I feel so fucked up the past few days. "

I don't know how should I explain it. it's just as if I have a knot in my heart that can never be untied. 

fucked up, sad to say this but yeah, it's just me. I'm fucked up. I can never accept who I really am. I'm never pretty. like seriously. I'm not trying to get attention or whatsoever. but well, that's just how I feel about myself. I'm hyper and that's why people are always irritated by me. I'm really hyper and no, I'm not hyperactive. I get so hyper that I start irritating people. wild? yeah, it's in my blood. I'm born this way. 

story of my life.

and today I went out with a group of friends. so I decided to be an ass and started sending messages to this guy that is said to be known to like my best friend. I don't know what the hell is wrong with that guy. he just started calling my best friend bitch and some not so nice names yo. 

like wtf. lulz dude, you ruin my best friend's day. I hope you get killed in a fucking car crash. or maybe karma should just hit you hard in your face with a chair. 

now I feel so guilty D:

gaaaaaaaaaaah fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck la I'm such a meanie :(

I swear I feel damn moody the past few days. phone got confiscated. like wtf then teacher never give me chance but got give other people chance in the past. kns unfair much?

time for a good bye yo.

till then. xx

feelings.

feelings.

something that I probably wish I could take it when I want and let it go as and when I like.

I'm feeling all so crappy on a tuesday night. pretty much having the " I don't want to talk, I just need a hug " feeling now. for the past few days I've been having that feeling. the feeling suckzzzzzz. :( 

many things happened the past few days and at the end of the day, I just need a hug to make me feel better. 

not any of my friends can give the hug I need. only my precious can give me the hug that makes me feel better. 

" why the sudden blog post about feelings? "

" why are you being such an emotional bitch right now? "

some of you may ask " WHY. " this " WHY. " that.

the sudden post is because I'm feeling so damn horrible that I need to blog it out.

no, stfu I'm not an emotional bitch because I believe that even the strongest person have their weak points.

School.

school? I wanna set it on fire. 

it's making me so tired and taking up almost HALF of my day. school eats up my time. this week started off really BADLY. was supposed to meet my precious to take my lunch from him after my first filming (I was really busy and he's nice to buy lunch for me) but I had so many NGs (I'm a bad actress, deal with it) and then it delayed all the way till 4.30 when I was suppose to meet him at 4.30. wtf.

and so, something happened in between that's why I called him and he told me he must be back home at 5.

at that very moment when he said that, my heart 'collapse'. I thought I could see him but well no.

so yeah from yesterday till now, I'm feeling CRAPPY.

yes, I'm a hyper kid when I'm in class but when the night falls and I'm on my bed, I might be the crying instead of fooling around.

today is just another crappy day for me. got back my physics test. and guess what?

I FAILED IT. (yeah, I'm a failure in tests/exams and now I even think I'm a failure in life)

oh and my friend sitting beside me, got a border line pass. wanna know something interesting? I was the one who cause him to get that score. YEAH, IF YOU'RE SMART ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND MY SENTENCE, I WAS BEING BLAME FOR HIM GETTING THAT SCORE.

eh hello? I got blame you when I fail my tests? no right? you might as well blame your ancestors la please.

how good would that be if I won't feel pain?

and so, I've been ignoring my precious for the past ...... 1hr+?

pretty funny isn't it? my 'healer' and then now the cause of why I'm feeling crappy.

maybe I'm just stupid. really stupid. or I just care too much.

I was angry cause he suddenly disappear. no texts from him for like 2 hours? he didn't even inform me he's gonna be away or something. for 2 freaking hours I was left all alone to think what happened to him. eaten by monsters? aliens brought him to outer space? oh I was wrong. he was playing soccer. 

people tell me to relax a bit don't care so much. you think I can? lulz this boy means so much to me but do I look like I mean something to him? probably not. 

just sometimes, I feel as if you really don't understand my feelings.

maybe you do but I don't know.

a reminder like this maybe?..

ending this with tears. X